August 17th, 2014

The Ice Bucket Challenge

While I have survived the initial bout of nominations in New Zealand, with the return of the challenge having gone viral in the States, there is a chance I may be nominated. So far, both my brothers were nominated back in June but didn’t nominated me so there’s still a possibility I will be nominated and wreak my vengeance… in nominating.

With the resurgence coming from the US, I had seen the odd (and usually the same) celebrity Ice Challenge videos so I looked into it… yeah… the videos were all over the place from youtube, to twitter to vimeo to instagram. So I decided I needed a list of the ones I have found so far.

NOTE: Just so y’all know… the list is updated constantly so you may need to recheck at the source for new additions. Feel free to message me if I have missed someone.

Edit: I saw this pop up while this post was being reblogged so here is a mini-list of links for donations:

So here we go. (NOTE: I am not American so I didn’t include many of the US athletes or political figures since I have no idea who most of them are. Like I know who Tom Brady is because of Family Guy.) Oh and the list will keep growing as more and more gauntlets are thrown down (that means people/celebrities being nominated)

The list (as of 20 August 2014 NZ Time) and in no particular now in alphabetical order. Bold=just added

So You Just Found Out Two Of Your Friends Have Slept Together…

…And this is why a year ago they stopped being friends.

But this isn’t about them. This is about the repercussions. The things that are falling into place. The things that didn’t make sense then but do make sense now. The anger. The betrayal. The… anger.

Now for the sake of the argument, I’m not the one who found out. I’m one of the friends. My point of view in this is quite one-sided since it happened 17 months (and two days) ago. When me and my friend had sex not when our friendship ended. (That ended on June 15th). Now one of my closest friends (who is mutually friends with my ex-friend) found out today because I vented on another blog about it nine months ago. (I now use that blog to see if gifs work).

1. Be Ready For The Backlash.

After going for a stroll with my pseudo-niece and nephew (what was a walk to the dairy became an educational stroll to the dairy), I was confronted. I was told I’d probably get angry. I got my figurative gun cocked and readied myself because I have a short fuse and a temper. I was prepared for WWIII… and then she told me. That she had hashtag search something and discovered my other blog and found out that me and my former best friend had had sex. With each other.
And I had kept it secret for 17 months. Well a secret from her. You see, whether I show it or not (and mainly because I’m a dick) I do regard her as one of my closest friends. I have been a horrible rollercoaster ride in the last two years. Like HORRIBLE. We are talking Kanye mixed with Beiber mixed with Pearl Harbour mixed with the Christchurch Earthquake. And why didn’t I tell her? Because at the time he asked to not tell anyone specifically her and that I didn’t want an “I told you so moment” or “I thought you didn’t sleep with close friends” moment.
But was I angry? Did my fuse spark up and go boom? No. Because I have had 17 months to deal with it, to the best of my abilities anyway.
But there is a backlash. Since it’s fresh and “new” to her. Nothing major really.
In the end, he was my best friend who thought he could solve his problems with his penis. He couldn’t. But on the upside, at least we didn’t end up living together which almost became a reality.

2. The Discovery Others Knew.

Finding out something 17 months after it happened I guess could be bad. I found out the same flatmate was banging her brother’s friend three weeks after. Didn’t phase me really. Well I got shitty because I find it unscrupulous. But that’s another blog altogether. It was more the discovery that others knew. And by other I mean three of our closest mutual friends. We are a group of five. Five very separate entities. But the line “but Boo and Gaga knew” probably wasn’t the best line to say. So when did they find out? 

-Boo: the day after
-Grant: the day after
-Gaga: 16 months ago (20 April)

So I can see how one would be upset with this. How some of the people you regard as your closest friends kept something that at the time was huge but right now is not so huge from you. Grant finding out was more of an accident. Boo I told because I needed someone on my side just to quell my ego that little bit while still telling me how it is. Gaga finding out meant I could vent with unbiased since he wasn’t really friends with my, at that time, friend. But the final one in the group was not told as I said before. Because I am not a fan of “I told you so” moments. While the ones that knew didn’t aid me in a murder, I can see how it can be seen as harsh being the oblivious one but at the time it made sense. And as time drifted on and I became more and more apathetic to it all, finding the right moment where I could tell her (or wanted to tell her) were becoming far and few between.
Edit: It seems Grant forgot which is sweet but now he reknows so meh.

3. Betrayal. Betrayal Everywhere.

And I don’t mean just by me the non-victim of this victimless “crime”. I mean there is betrayal everywhere in this. Betrayal by me for not telling Heather and also by me for telling my closest friends.Betrayal by our friends for not telling Heather. Its just a huge ball of betrayal and everyone involved is invited.  I’m at the stage where I don’t care that it came out. I felt betrayed by him since we “broke up” but have also “protected” him by keeping it on the downlow. But what do I have to lose? Possibly a couple of respect points from Heather but Wes-wise… absolutely nothing. I don’t need to protect him. And 17 months on he is still causing some form of drama in my life so yeah. It was one time so it won’t destroy him if it got out.

4. The Friendship Gets Questioned.

I don’t mean mine and my ex-best friend. I mean between me and my current friend. The one who found out 17 months later. The one who feels betrayed and hurt and angry and whatever other feels comes with betrayal. The one who is now questioning where she “ranks” with things. Personally, she is in the exact same place she was before she found out. She is looking back at something I typed 9 months ago (possibly drunk) when I was still hurting and sad and angry. Where everything anyone did (not just her) either reminded me of Wes or pissed me off. Where I would tell me best friend shit (but its not reciprocated since I am an overly angrily emotional type) and where I could feel sorry for myself. But why couldn’t I tell her (not Boo, Heather)? Pride mostly. There may have been some modicum of hope as well on my part that everything would work out. Emotions ruling me as they usually do. A possible lecture. Timing. Apathy about the situation. And maybe a hint of classic “none of your business” but in saying that I guess one does have some kind of right to question the friendship. But in all honesty, nothing has really changed from my viewpoint. 
I did get the “what else are you hiding” speech but I can honestly say that was it. I’ve done nothing spectacularly deceitful since then and I’m trying to get more back into the old version of me. Which is taking longer than I thought.

5. Things Start Falling Into Place.

You see when me and my ex-best friend slept together it wasn’t particularly great or pornish. There were no fireworks or harps or whatever. It wasn’t embarrassing afterwards or awkward. It was rather lame and borderline rape-y (on his part not mine). Wes is, well, straight (less straight now but straight) and I think I may have brought up feelings that he had never experienced with someone of the same sex and because we were having issues in our friendship over whatever it was, he got it in his head that if we slept together everything would be fine. But that is neither here nor there. Fastforward passed all the fights between Heather and I, all my tantrums, my tears, my hatred towards him, my dramas to… today and some things start falling into place with her. 
Why I was so distraught. Why he was being such a douchebag. Why he’d add me then delete me then readd me the redelete me on Snapchat. Why I would ragequit over minor things. Why I would drink myself to sleep. Why I’d look like a deer in headlights whenever he was mentioned or that he was contacted (up until recently that is… now I’m all.. ehhh. But I’m still not ready to see him though). Why I haven’t slept with anyone since him. Why he says “I did it because it was like being in an abusive relationship” and why I would call him a “fucking pussy” when he’d say shit like that because he wouldn’t know what an abusive relationship was even if it came up to him and introduced itself to him.
But some things have started falling into place. How I called him on St Pat’s 2013 and demanded he come get us because we couldn’t get him. He did. He drove from Te Kauwhata to Auckland at the ungodly hours to come get us. I was horrible that night. More so than usual.
I guess the main one is how destroyed I was acting. And I see now that the tiniest piece of information could have clicked everything into place earlier but at the time, I still held a torch for him so couldn’t betray him and as time went on… I felt it was no longer important. We did stuff. We ended stuff. I got it mostly out of my system and yeah. 
But in reality I know that more and more things will start being pieced together and I’m ready for that. 

August 15th, 2014

Smooth

Sometimes

The conversations in my flat are very intelligent and then striketh the himbo…

(there is no context to this conversation so I’ve just right into the middle/end of it)


Me: Socrates
Alex: I’ve heard of him.
Me: No. I meant Galileo… I think… no Socrates.
Alex: Meh. They’re all the same
Me: Dead?

Been there. Done that. 

Been there. Done that. 

My flat at the moment…

It is one of my goals in life to actually buy WinRAR just because they don’t force you to.
David Smiler
August 13th, 2014
There’s always a point when I’m scrolling through my Dash and see something I want to comment on but my fingers keep scrolling and by the time I’ve realised that I haven’t commented, much like the post… I too have moved on.
David Smiler (2014)